As the invitee of someone involved in the production, I attended a performance of an odd little thing called “The Girlhood of Shakespeare’s Heroines” at the Morgan-Wixon Theater in Santa Monica on Tuesday night.

I was quite excited by the idea of watching a play without pen at the ready, able, so I hoped, to sit back and bask in the experiencet as it unfolded.

No such luck. Unable to free myself from the nervous tic of scribbling notes on any open space afforded me by the playbill, I lasted only about ten minutes before I was back to being a critic.

This is not as debilitating a habit as it might seem.

It allowed me to jot down some ideas I’ll steal later from playwright Don Nigro, an American whose so far 200 plays hint at the outlandish profusion one associates with Lope de Vega. His exposure to Tom Stoppard, as is the case for most writers, has been too transformative an experience to let pass without imitation. There’s a lot of hooey in the script, but some gorgeous stuff as well.

It allowed me to enjoy five actresses whose success in their monologues — bagatelles on the experience of either being or performing Shakespearean women — was proportional to their ability to project not only emotion but volume across the footlights. Of the five, two (Kristen Hansen and Julie Marie Hassett) nailed their roles especially well.

It allowed me to mention here the most memorable performance of all by a young female audience member whose vapid ringtone interrupted the opening monologue. She received her call, rose noisily from her seat, and jabbered away as she made her way grandly up the aisle, a flawless portrayal of the modern American jackass. What did Woody Allen once say? Something about what he’d give for a large polo mallet.

Anyway, if you’re anywhere near Pico and 26th next Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday night around 8 (the production closes Feb. 10) this show is worth a look. Bring some manner of heavy bludgeon with you, just in case somebody decides to take a phone call. We’re going to introduce local audiences to etiquette one way or another.